Her Type
by maybeilikeu
Summary: Rolivia. Rollins is pregnant, and Olivia wants to help as much as she can. But how much can she help? Do they know where to draw a line? [first story ever, sorry if it sucks, which it probably does] {cover screencap: textsfromrolivia}
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this is my very first story and I know it's not that good, but I thought I'd give it a shot. I love this pairing though I know it's one of the most unlikely couples to ever happen in the show, but I guess a girl can dream. Rated M for possible future chapters. (oh and I'm so sorry if you find any spelling/grammar errors, English isn't my first language)**

* * *

 _(Olivia's POV)_

"So" Alexanda Cabot's voice interrupted the wave of thoughts that was taking over Olivia Benson's mind "I was just wondering, has the blonde beauty become a problem yet?"

Olivia looked confused for a moment before she realized what Alex meant "Of course not" she took another sip from her glass "And she won't. I'm done dating co-workers"

Alex chuckled before drinking more whiskey. When the burning sensation left her throat, she spoke "You know, I'll die before you actually mean that"

Alex and Olivia were at the closest bar from the precinct they could find. They had just finished up a case, their first one since Alex came back.

"She's just your type and you know it" Alex insisted.

"And what would be my type, Counselor?" Olivia asked while a slight grin took over her face.

Grinning back, Alex answered "Well, you know, hot blondies with blue eyes"

It was Olivia's turn to chuckle "You're crazy. The woman is _pregnant_ , Jesus"

"So? Her baby could make company to Noah" At the mention of Olivia's son, Alex looked up and found the brunette's gaze "Speaking of that, how are you both?"

Olivia sighed while straightening up in her chair "You know… I can't be the most present mother ever, and that pains me a little, but we're good" Olivia looked down her almost-finished glass of whiskey "He's with the sitter right now… She's a lot of help too"

"I'm sure you're the best mother there is, Liv. You don't have to worry. Noah'll be raised just as he should be"

Not sound so convinced, Olivia just muttered "Yeah" before drinking what was left in her glass and telling Alex she should get going. Alex simply nodded and was left in the bar alone, before going home herself.

* * *

Liv woke up the next day with a pounding head and a pile of paperwork from the previous case sitting on her desk. One of the first things she noticed once she entered the squad was that Rollins was already there, her head down while she went through her own paperwork. When she noticed Olivia, which didn't take long, she got up, and as much as Olivia wanted, she couldn't avoid Amanda.

"'Morning, Liv" she said, looking nervous, but maybe it was just Olivia making assumptions. And after Liv said it back, she heard "Liv, can we - talk?" Now she was definetly nervous.

"Sure" Olivia said, gesturing to her to enter her office.

"Is everything ok? Is it the baby?" Liv said while she closed the office door behind her.

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong, I mean I just thought - you know, a possibility - that maybe, just - just maybe -"

Sensing Rollins' nervousness, she interrupted "You know, Rollins, today after work, we could talk properly about this in my apartment, I can't imagine how difficult it is being to you and I bet you want someone to talk to"

Somewhat relieved, Amanda nodded and said "I don't wanna bother, if you can't, with Noah and everything-"

"It's alright. I bet Noah will be delighted to see you"

The blonde smiled, and nodded while muttering "Thanks, Sarge" then she got up and out of Olivia's office. Liv watched her walking over to her desk and sitting behind it, before putting her head down to her paperwork again. But this time she didn't seem much concentrated.

* * *

 **A/N: This is it for chapter one, if you like it please review and let me know what you think, if you don't like it do it anyway and please tell me if I should keep going. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, here's chapter 2. This is gonna get a little (or maybe a lot) AU. Still, I hope you like it :).**

* * *

 _(Amanda's POV)_

It was a slow day at the precinct, they had no cases and all that was done were piles of paperwork that only seemed to get bigger.

"Rollins" Amanda looked up to see Olivia standing beside her desk "Want to go grab some food? It's past noon already, we could bring something to the guys" Olivia said, looking like a teenager asking their crush out "We don't have to, I can go by myself. I just thought you'd like to get out of here since you're on desk duty and all"

The next thing Amanda knew they were both inside the elevator and she was trying oh-so-hard not to roam her eyes all over Olivia's body. She was wearing a pair of jeans that fit her quite well and and a blue shirt that fell loosely on her shoulders. It was too much even to Amanda, who managed to keep her stares as discreet as possible for all these years.

"Are you ok? With Cabot being back and all?" Before she even thought the words were out, and Rollins repressed herself mentally for being so ahead of herself.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Now Olivia was looking at her with a confused look. Fuck. Now she couldn't just stop answering, she wished this wasn't as awkward as she was thinking it was.

"No, it's just that... I heard you two used to go out..." She was wishing she could bury her own head somewhere.

Fortunately, the elevator's doors opened before Olivia could say anything else.

They both knew the way to the nearest restaurant from the squad and walked without saying a word. However, the word "stupid" was repeating itself inside Amanda's head.

She was never sure of what she liked, whether it was women or men, and for a long time before coming to New York she hadn't felt attraction towards any woman. She was almost convinced her feelings for her high school friend were normal and that every teenager had been attracted to someone that was the same sex at some point.

Until, of course, Olivia Benson.

It started off as admiration, the woman was an incredible detective and it was hard not to feel admired by her. But then it developed and Amanda got scared. She mostly saw complications rather than benefits in having a crush on her boss. And along with, or because of that, her gambling problems became worse. But with the help of her partners she was succeeding in replacing that habit with another ones. Whenever she had the urge, she went to the closest bar and drank it away, and almost always she picked up someone to take to her apartment and fuck. Of course, that was before she got pregnant. For some reason, she didn't feel bad about what she was doing. Better than gamble anyway.

"It wasn't serious" A voice snapped Rollins out of her thoughts. She looked to Olivia, expecting her to continue. The brunette looked back at her "Me and Alex. It wasn't serious. We knew better than getting too involved." She grinned "We both agreed we were 'too bad with relationships' to have anything more serious than casual sex. She's married now"

Someone else, Amanda thought, wouldn't understand why Olivia was finding it funny. But Amanda knew. She understood.

"I'm sorry" was all she could manage to say.

"No, it's ok. As I said, we didn't get involved enough for me or her to be in love, or anything"

Amanda nodded in understanding. They had reached the restaurant. After getting themselves and the boys some food, they walked back to the precinct.

"Who's Cabot married to?"

"Casey Novak. She used to be our ADA as well"

Amanda didn't say anything else. Actually, she wasn't expecting it to be another woman. Kind of surprised her, she thought the ADA was straight and Olivia had been a one time thing to her, just like she thought that Alex had been a one time thing to Olivia. That made her wonder if Olivia was attracted to women as well to men. 'A girl can dream' she thought to herself.

* * *

 **Please review and let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I do not own any of the characters included in this**

* * *

 _(Olivia's POV)_

"Benson" Olivia answered her phone without really checking the caller's ID

"Hey, wanna come over to me and Casey's tonight after work? You haven't come in quite a while and we could catch up"

"Uhm, yeah, sorry, I'm meeting Amanda tonight" she knew instantly Alex would tease her about that and could almost hear her eyebrows raising "She wants to talk"

"Yeah I bet she does. Well, you could come over some other time this week and let us know how your 'talking' went"

"'Bye Alex. I'll talk to you later" after finishing the call Olivia looked around her office. They still hadn't received any cases, and she didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

* * *

Olivia sighed. They got a case at last.

"Fin, we got a case. A girl was raped outside her school"

Once at Mercy General Olivia and Fin were trying to convince the family of the 16 year old girl to let them talk to her by themselves

"I'm not gonna let my little Natalie alone right now! She needs me!"

"We know, Ms. Morella, but talking to your daughter is very important to our investigation, you'll be just outside, we promise you we won't ask or do anything that makes her uncomfortable"

After what seemed ages of trying to make the mother accept that they could talk to Natalie alone, she finally gave in, saying she'd allow 10 minutes.

"So, Natalie" Fin approached her carefully "I take it you know why we're here"

"Some stupid boys did stupid things to me"

"That's right" Olivia sat down at the chair beside Natalie's chair "Could you give us more details about the stupid things these boys did to you?"

"I was-" her eyes started to get filled with tears "I was with a, a friend, you know, outside our school, we were waiting our other friends so we could hang out, but then, some boys got near us. We didn't think they'd hurt us. God, we're so stupid" she started crying and sobbing uncontrollably

"Did those boys hurt your friend as well?" Fin asked when her sobs ceased

"No, they said they only wanted me. They wanted to 'teach me a lesson' but I have no idea what I've done to them" she looked at nothing specifically and an idea seemed to come to her "Of course" she said, wiping a tear away.

"Do you know who they were? Why they did it?" Liv asked

"Please, don't tell my parents. I'm not ready for them to know yet"

"Whatever you tell us, your parents won't know" Olivia said and rubbed the girl's arm in a reassuring way. Fin glared at Liv and then back at the victim.

"I, I have a- a girlfriend" the girl said carefully, not knowing how the information would be received "She's really pretty, and a lot of boys want to go out with her, but she always - always turns them down because she's with me" she took a breath before continuing "And there's this guy - she told me about him some time ago - I don't know him, you see, we don't study at the same school, but she told me he's kind of obsessed with her, you know, keeps talking to her and asking her out as if he doesn't already know she's going to refuse"

Olivia nodded "And your girlfriend, could we ask you her name? I assume you don't know the name of the boy that harasses her"

"No, I don't. Her name is Olivia, your name is Olivia too, isn't it?" when Olivia nodded, Natalie continued "Her name's Olivia Ryan, she's 17 and studies at a church school"

"Does this school have a name?"

"St. Thomas Elementary School"

"Thank you so much, Natalie, you were very brave, we'll catch the boys who did this horrible thing to you as soon as possible, ok?"

Fin was already out of the room when Natalie called "Detective Benson?"

"Yes? What is it?"

"During the, the _thing..._ I, I, there was a moment, when, I don't know if it was what I think it is, I never did it, so I don't know but-"

"You experienced and orgasm?"

"I think so"

Olivia got closer to the girl who was about to burst in tears again

"It doesn't mean you wanted it, it doesn't mean it was consensual. It's a normal body response, you don't have to be ashamed of it"

"I felt... dirty... when it happened. Olivia won't want me ever again" she was now crying and sobbing again.

"I'm sure she understands, sweetie"

"No, she won't. We talked about this, she wanted to be my first one, she'll never forgive me"

"It wasn't your fault. Those boys attacked you against your will. You didn't want it" but Natalie was still sobbing and shaking her head. Olivia hugged her and she started to cry against Olivia's shirt.

* * *

"Olivia Ryan?" Fin and Liv were now at St. Thomas Elementary School "NYPD. Can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure" said the girl they found that was Olivia Ryan.

"I imagine you don't know what happened to Natalie Morella"

"What? What happened? Is she okay?"

"She was raped. Outside her school. By some boys that wanted to 'teach her a lesson'." Liv said studying the expression on the girl's face. "You can't imagine of anyone who'd want to teach her such lesson?"

"What? Couldn't be"

"She told us you both go out. And there's a boy who won't stop asking you out even if he knows you're not interested in what he has to offer" Fin said, losing his patience "We need the name of the boy"

"Right. It's, it's Jason. Jason Gosling. But I don't think it was him who did it"

"Why not?" asked Olivia

"He just likes me, a lot, you know" Olivia Ryan answered "But I he's - well, I think - a nice guy. He wouldn't do it"

"Well, people aren't always what we think they are" Fin said, finishing the conversation and getting out of the spot.

When they reached the car, Fin said

"I've been talking to Alex"

"Yeah? What about?" Olivia asked

"You're interested in Amanda"

Olivia laughed "Of course I am"

"Are you?"

"Of course I'm not. Alex's crazy. You and me of all people should know"

"Well, I think Alex is right, Amanda seems to be your type"

Olivia looked at Fin, not believing her ears. "Great. Now you're both crazy. Look, I don't have such thing as a type. I'm done dating women and particularly women who are my coworkers"

Fin chuckled "If you say so. I won't tell you 'I told you" when it happens then"

"You'd better not. And it won't happen, whatever _it_ is"

"I just thought you'd be good for each other"

"I'm sure it's only you and Alex who think so" but internally, Olivia was celebrating like a little kid who'd just found out they'd get the toy they've been wanting for a long time.

* * *

 ** _Please_ review and let me know what you think about this story so far**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't own neither SVU or the characters.**

 **(Oh and just to mention it, this is set on the beginning of season 17, so Amanda's pregnancy belly still doesn't quite show yet)**

* * *

 _You could be my favourite taste to touch my tongue_

 _I know someone who could serve me love but it wouldn't fill me up_

 _You could have my favourite face and favorite name_

 _I know someone who could play the part but it wouldn't be the same_

 _(My Favourite Faded Fantasy - Damien Rice)_

* * *

At her apartment, Olivia was having some real trouble deciding what to wear. It wasn't anything formal, but yet she thought about wearing a dress. She and Amanda had decided Amanda would come to her apartment (after some arguing, 'cause Olivia didn't want Amanda going all the way to her apartment, but Amanda put her stubborness to work and eventually Liv lost) at 8:00 PM and Rollins would knock on her door at any moment. Finally, Olivia decided the white blouse that hung loosely on her shoulders and a tight black jeans. Satisfied with what she was wearing, she started setting the table. She knew the younger woman would be hungry, although she most surely would deny.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. Sighing and stopping herself from getting to anxious, she opened the door.

The blonde was wearing rather usual clothing for her, jeans, a black shirt and the leather jacket, but still, seeing her at her own door, kind of took the taller woman's breath away.

"Come in" she said softly. When Amanda was already inside, she started to talk

"Thank you for this, Liv, but I really don't intend of bothering you for long. I just wanted to talk to you about things we couldn't at work. I really don't mean to be some kind of burden" she really looked determined to convince Olivia she wasn't going to stay long.

"You know it's okay, Amanda, you'd never be a burden in here" Olivia smiled, trying to show the blonde it really was okay.

The smaller woman didn't say anything else, simply pursed her lips, trying to stop saying anything she'd regret.

"I made us dinner" Olivia said, studying Amanda. They were still standing just beside the door, with a safe space between them, that they created as if on silent agreement that if they got any closer they might not be able to quite stop themselves.

"I just ate, really, I'm not hungry at all" Liv couldn't help but smirk, she knew she would do that.

"Oh, please, Noah has already eaten and is sleeping, I made food enough I'll have dinner for two months and I've no company"

"You're evil. I'd never take you as such a persuasive woman. I wonder why you're a detective and not a dealer or somethin'"

Olivia laughed and she couldn't not notice the southern accent. For some unknown reason, her insides flipped.

* * *

"I guess people really are full of surprises, Detective Benson, each time I find a different side to you. I wouldn't take you as such a great cook as well as I wouldn't take you as such a persuasive, evil woman" They had crossed some line, for some reason, they weren't assuming the co-workers positions anymore, they seemed more like friends than anything else. Even though they both were willing to deny it to death, it only made their feeling for each other grow stronger. Amanda's butterflies were flapping inside her like crazy, she just wished she could drink some alcohol so it would kill those psychotic butterflies.

Realizing Olivia was a thousand miles from there, Amanda asked what was it she was thinking.

"Just, the case, you know, we see lots of terrible thing on a daily basis, but I still can't see why people would do such horrible things to someone just because of who they want to have relationships with"

"Yeah" Amanda nodded, she knew where Olivia was coming from "I'll never understand that either. Who you love doesn't make you a better person or a person deserving of more respect"

"My mother used to be like that. I was raised to think people who were any different than me were freaks. But then it turns out I found out I wasn't the straightest person the Earth has ever seen" Olivia wanted to laugh, but it turned out as a sad chuckle.

Amanda held her breath without even noticing. She saw Olivia blushing at the comment she'd just made, and, as if on silent agreement one more time, they both ignored it.

"But, 'Manda, you haven't come here to talk about it" _Maybe not._ Amanda thought sarcastically "How's things?" she said, with a soft voice. _Just kill me already._

"It's okay, I-I'm okay" she answered quietly "You know what, Sarge-"

"Call me Olivia. We're not at work, it's ok"

"Yeah, sorry" Amanda rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand "You know what, Olivia, I'm sorry for coming to your office this morning, I just, had a rough night, I don't know" she said, looking up, blue eyes meeting brown

"I told you, you could - and you can - come to me if you need anything. It's okay" Olivia stared at her eyes more intensely than ever "Why'd you had a rough night?"

"Sick. You know. Had to spend the night bending over the toilet" Amanda said fidgeting

Olivia grabbed her hand, and Amanda's eyes roamed all the way from her hand, to her arms, and finally her face, finding her with a gaze of so much understanding it was like she was reading her soul just by touching her hand.

"I want you to know something" Amanda thought she saw Olivia's eyes quickly moving to her hand, that was above the blonde's across the table, as she said it "You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here. The whole team's here. We want to help as much as we can. I - we all - know that you're too proud to accept help, and we know that your mother's coming but still, if there's anything - anything _at all_ \- that you need we're _all_ here, by your side. No one's going to turn their backs on you. You're already family and I'm sure you feel that way too. And this is me, letting you know that you can let your walls down, at least to us, we have no bad intentions" she sighed, signing she was finished, and the look on her face was so kind and caring Amanda thought she was hearing those words from an old friend.

* * *

After that, Amanda didn't stay long. They just kept on eating and went back to small talk as if nothing even happened.

"Thank you, Liv" she said while putting on her jacket, getting ready to go home "I appreciate it, not just dinner, but everything you said"

Olivia placed her hand on Amanda's arm, which was unfortunately covered by her jacket, but still the blonde felt her arm tingle all over "It was all true. You may believe it" she was so close now "You have my number. You know my adress-" even closer, their bodies almost flushed together, but she couldn't stop, and Amanda sure as hell didn't want her to "You can call. You can come over" And suddenly there was no room at all between them, Olivia's hand on Amanda's arm was moving towards her back...

* * *

 _ **Please review**_

 _ **:)**_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long, hope this make it up to you. Wouldn't want to disappoint such awesome readers.**

* * *

 _I wish I could feel your skin_

 _And I want you from somewhere within_

 _It feels like there are oceans between me and you once again_

 _We hide our emotions under the surface and try to pretend_

 _(Seafret - Oceans)_

* * *

 _(Amanda's POV)_

 _I'm...kissing Olivia Benson?_

Amanda opens her eyes _Oh my God. I am._

 _Her hands are the ones pulling me closer. Can't be. I bet I'm dreaming._

 _I'm dreaming, right?_

 _What if I'm not?_

 _It's much too complicated. I'm sure we both are aware of that. Complicated isn't good. Complicated is bad._

 _I should push away._

 _But, God, her hands are now inside my back pocket. She's moaning. I can taste the wine in her breath. I'm sober, I didn't drink because of the baby._

 _The baby._

Amanda pulls away, and she's gone before Olivia even notices it.

* * *

 _(Olivia's POV)_

When the door closes, Olivia supports herself on the wall. Why did she do that? Sure, she was impulsive, and she wanted the woman more than almost anything, but lately she was being able to contain it. It must have been the wine. She was still a little dizzy.

Yeah, that was it. Olivia had kissed a co-worker, who was pregnant, who was going to be a single mother, who was dealing with more things than she probably was able to. It was a lousy call, kissing her. But the urge that Olivia felt at that moment was not like something she could control. And there wasn't a lot of those.

She wanted to talk to someone. She knew the perfect person to call, but she wondered whether it would be too weird. Talking to her ex about who she was interested in. Her mind instantly took her to the nights she'd spent up all night talking to Alex about Casey and wondered why not.

* * *

"God, who would that be at this time?" Alex broke away from Casey's kisses and grabbed her phone. Her wife whining made her grin "Hold it, just for a second, baby, could be from work"

"Right."

"It's Liv" she said, checking the caller's ID.

"What does she want?" asked Casey, approaching Alex from behind and kissing her neck.

"No idea" Alex responded while answering the call.

"What took you so long? Were you asleep?"

"Doesn't matter" Alex tried to push Casey away so she could concentrate _I'm totally interrupting_ Olivia thought "What about you? Were you drinking? You sound drunk. Want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'm at home. Actually, there was someone here"

"Go on" Alex was trying to make Casey stop grabbing and kissing her "Who was there?"

"Amanda. Rollins."

Alex raised her eyebrows and smiled. Finally. She didn't want to express her relief, so she just pretended it was nothing.

"And...? What happened?"

"We kissed. On the mouth. A full kiss. I was drunk. I shouldn't've done that. She pushed away and left, didn't say anything else. I'm afraid she'll refuse to look at me ever again..."

"Wait, wait, wait. How long was this kiss?"

"How do you want me to know? I'm fucking drunk. It could be a second, it could be an hour"

"Right. Okay. Don't freak out. It's okay. You want us to come over?" when Alex said it, Casey shook her head no surely. Alex nodded as a reply and she knew the redheaded would give in, because if she didn't, Alex wouldn't have sex with her for 2 months.

"No. Of course not. It's late. You have work tomorrow. I just... needed to talk. Please don't come over"

"Okay, we're not coming over. But what do you intend on doing about it?"

"No idea. We could talk. But I have a feeling she won't like the idea"

"She's difficult. Yeah"

"Yeah. What do I do?"

"I don't know this girl very well. Why don't you ask Fin? They're close, aren't they?"

"They are, but I don't know if he knows about her being a lesbian. I don't even know if she is a lesbian. God, this is complicated"

"Let me come over, won't you? You really seem like you could use someone to take care of you"

"What am I? Ten? I can take care of myself. I'm already interrupting you and Casey. Don't come over. I'm going to sleep. 'Bye." and she hung up. Just like that.

* * *

 _(Amanda's POV)_

 _Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. What was that?_ Amanda breathed deeply. That was fucked up. That kiss was fucking fucked up. Not the kiss itself, in fact the kiss was amazing. Chaste, slow, soft, perfect. The fact that they kissed was fucked up. They were fucking colleagues. Co-wokers. They had another 7 billion people they could kiss. And they kissed each other. Forbidden in so many ways Amanda couldn't name half of them. Another deep breath.

Amanda couldn't even remember the way home, and she hadn't even drunk that night. Probably the wine on Olivia's lips was enough to make her drunk. That was poetic. She made a mental note to herself to remember that.

She thought of calling someone. She still had Nick's number. Nah, probably not the most ingenious idea. Their break-up was already messy enough.

Fin? Probably the obvious idea. She honestly couldn't remember any other person in New York she could confide.

So she dialled. Checking the time, she couldn't hang up before Fin answered.

"Fin? Look, I know it's late but..."

"Are you okay? Is it everything okay?"

"Wha- Yeah, yeah, it's alright. I mean, not exactly..."

"Breathe. Tell me why you're callin. S'okay."

"Are you... were you sleeping?"

"I was. But it's okay. It's no problem at all, you know you can call anytime." Amanda started to regret calling "It is okay, Amanda, seriously. Now care to tell me wha's going on"

"Okay... so... I was at Olivia's... we..." Amanda thought of the right words to say "We... kissed... by accident"

"You kissed _by accident_?" the laughing tone of Fin's voice made Amanda smile herself.

"No! I mean, sort of. She was drunk"

"You didn't drink, did you?"

"No, I was perfectly sober, which is what troubles me"

"So, you weren't under the influence of alcohol, but still you kissed your co-worker? Your _boss_?"

"Yes. Yes, Fin. I'm all fucked up. I know that."

"Stop that. I just find it funny, you're usually so self-controled." Amanda didn't answer. Merely sighed. "Look, it's really okay. I mean, we all have a little crush on Olivia"

"Yeah? Have you all kissed her? While you were totally sober? Totally in control of yourselves? I can manage a crush, Fin. But I fucking acted on it. I could do anything about it, _but_ act on it. I..."

"'Manda, why don't you go to sleep, clear the fog that is your head, and we can talk tomorrow"

"How do you want to do that? I'm on desk duty and we have a case, you're probably going to go to work and do all the fun stuff while I sit on my ass. _With_ Olivia next door."

"Think you can control yourself?"

"Shut up" Amanda took yet another deep breath "Shit. She's probably gonna try to _talk_ about it. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Yeah. You wanna ignore it and see if all those butterflies flyin round in your tummy go away if you don't acknowledge they're there"

"The most useful approach"

"Sure"

"Goodnight, Fin"

"'Night, 'Manda"

After the going-to-sleep daily ritual, Amanda couldn't sleep until she managed to keep the feeling of Olivia's lips on hers away from her mind.

* * *

 _ **Please**_ **review. Y'all are awesome.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So sorry for not updating earlier, hope this is worth the wait. Enjoy and please review!**

* * *

 _You'll never know if you never try_

 _To forgive your past and simply be mine_

 _I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_

 _I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_

 _(Adele – One and Only)_

Olivia woke up to a clearer and a throbbing pain in her head. Checking the clock, she saw she had woken up a lot earlier than she had to. It wasn't even five A.M yet. So she sunk her head on the pillow again and everything that happened last night came back to her in waves. Drinking, talking, kissing, freaking out, calling Alex, then going to sleep. She just wished she could call in sick, but they had a case and she was in charge now. She had never called in sick as a Detective, of course she wouldn't do that now she was Lieutenant.

Getting up, she made some coffee and read the case one more time. Natalie Morella, 16 years old, raped just outside her school by a bunch of boys, has a girlfriend called Olivia Ryan, who's harassed by Jason Gosling, possible suspect.

Before talking to Jason, they had to show Natalie a picture of him and see if she could identify him as one of the boys that were there.

Olivia's thoughts were interrupted by her alarm clock. If she didn't start dressing, she'd be late for work. She wouldn't want that.

She sighed and gathered some courage to face the day she was about to have.

* * *

Amanda woke up earlier than necessary as well, but instead of thinking about the case or anything else, she went for a run, so she would clear her head and worry about things in the right time.

After showering and getting ready for work, she almost flipped, remembering Olivia and the possible talk the brunette would want to have with her. She shook the thought and stepped out of her apartment.

When Olivia entered the squad room Amanda was already sitting in her desk, doing her much loved paperwork. They didn't share a single look, Olivia headed directly to her office and Amanda did not look up from all the papers sitting on her desk.

It was only a few minutes later Fin and Carisi walked in and Olivia got out of her office to talk to all of them about the case.

"Fin" Olivia said, avoiding Amanda even though she wouldn't be able to for long "We need to go to Natalie and show her a picture of the suspect, if she recognizes him we'll have something to hold against him when we talk"

Carisi, as the only person that did not know what happened the night before, suggested "Why don't you and Amanda do that? She looks like she could get out of here"

Olivia shot him an almost threatening look while Amanda looked at Fin, trying to get him to get her out of that task.

For some twisted reason, Fin thought it wouldn't be a bad idea at all. So he said "Yeah, why not? You both talk to her while me and Carisi wait for you to give us a light, if she identifies him, we can arrest him outta there, if not, we can press him till he lets something slip" he was now avoiding Amanda's look at all costs.

They couldn't argue to that without letting it be obvious they didn't want to be alone together for personal reasons. Knowing that, Olivia asked Amanda, actually looking at her for the first time that day, and boy, was she beautiful "Any objections to that? You really look like you could get your head out of those papers for some time"

"No problem. I would love to actually _do_ something"

"'Kay, we'll leave in a few minutes, is that ok?"

"Sure, I'll grab my coat"

"Okay"

When Olivia and Carisi left to do something else before leaving, Fin and Amanda silently sent each other raging looks.

* * *

At Mercy General, Olivia had to discuss with Natalie's mother one more time so she and Amanda could talk privately to her.

"I'm sorry she's so stubborn. I guess she's the reason I've grown to hate stubborn people so much"

"It's okay. We have to deal with so much worse on a daily basis" Olivia said, getting close to Natalie's bed and sitting on the chair she had the day before "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, as much as I can be"

"Natalie, this is Detective Amanda Rollins" Olivia said, pointing to the blonde who was just behind her "She's helping us to catch those bastards who did this to you"

Natalie looked at her and smiled "Thank you"

"You have nothing to thank me"

Olivia smiled discretely at nothing specifically, Natalie noticed and looked at the two officers almost suspiciously.

"Well, Natalie, we talked to Olivia and…"

"You did? How is she?"

"She's devastated about what happened to you"

"Is she mad at me?"

"No sweetie, she's not, you don't have to worry about that"

"It's just, I would never think someone like her would ever be interested in me, you know, she's the most amazing girl I think I'll ever meet, and I'm always so scared I'll lose her, she looks so unreachable to someone like me, when she expressed her feelings for the first time I felt like the luckiest person in the entire world. It's so crazy that we are actually together, it is, and I feel so coward for being so afraid, because, you know, she already told me she loves me a million times, that nothing could change that, but still I feel like she doesn't mean what she says, like anyone could cross her way on a sidewalk and she'll love them more than she loves me"

When Olivia stayed quiet, letting what she said sink in, Amanda talked.

"You know, I love someone too, and I also admire them to the point I think they're the most amazing person in the world, that someone like them would never be interested in someone so fucked up like I am. But there's a possibility that they might actually reciprocate my feelings, and you know what I'm doing?"

Natalie shook her head no and looked rapidly to Olivia, and the woman was staring at the ground. So they actually liked each other.

"I'm running away from them. I'm ignoring what I'm feelin' and that's the coward way to deal with that. You're not a coward, believe me. You're a lot braver than I am, and I admire you for that"

"The reason you're referring to this person with "they" is because "they're" a "she"?" Natalie asked, and Amanda almost didn't hear her, for her voice was way too low.

"Yes" Amanda said, looking at Olivia, forgetting where they were and what they had to do.

"You don't have to"

Olivia interrupted "So, Natalie, we have to show you a picture of the guy that has been harassing your girlfriend to see if you identify him as one of the boys that did this to you, think you could handle it?"

"Of course"

Olivia opened the picture in her phone and gave it to the girl.

"I think, I think he was there, but I can't be sure. I'm sorry, it was just so fast, they were talking, but I couldn't hear them, and I couldn't see their faces clearly. I'm so sorry I can't help you more. He looks familiar, but I'm not sure he was one of them"

"It's okay, it's okay, sweetie. You were a lot helpful" Olivia caressed her arm and looked up at Amanda "I'll call Fin" and got out of the room.

Amanda said goodbye and thanked Natalie, and just when she was about to get out as well, the girl called her.

"Amanda?"

"Yes?"

"She's worth it"

Amanda smiled and blushed, cursing herself for being that obvious. Fucking hormones. "I know"

* * *

 ** _Please rate and review. :)._**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This is a smaller chapter and something fluff-ish I tried to do, not so sure it worked though. Please review me your opinions.**

* * *

 _I'll put a spell on you, you'll fall asleep when I put a spell on you_

 _And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you'll see_

 _And you'll realize that you love me_

 _(Aqualung – Strange and Beautiful)_

Why Olivia felt so out of balance because of what Amanda said just moments ago was a mystery. She leaned on the wall just when the blonde got out of Natalie's room. She approached Olivia carefully.

"Liv…"

"Amanda. We don't have to"

Amanda was taken aback but happy she didn't have to explain what she'd just done.

"Shall we go?" Olivia asked, acting like nothing ever happened.

 _Maybe time's all she needs._ "Yeah" she muttered.

In the car, Rollins' head was almost aching with thoughts. She didn't want to talk about any of it, but the fact that Olivia didn't want to too was a bad sign for Amanda.

"Liv? Can we please talk?"

"Amanda…"

"No. Please. If you don't want to talk, just listen. I, for so long, have kept myself inside a cage I built thinking it would protect me. I've kept silent and silently I've become someone else. Now I've come to realize I need to do what's best for me and for the baby. I need to not run away like I always do when I get scared. Even though I know I'll fail, I need to try. And I need to try this"

Before Olivia could think, Amanda was kissing her. It wasn't demanding, it wasn't chaste, it wasn't slow. I was hesitant, as if Amanda was expecting Olivia to pull away. But she didn't. When the brunette deepened the kiss, it was Rollins who pulled away, with a look of surprise and confusion on her face.

"Did you think I was going to pull away?" she asked quietly, her eyes roaming all over Amanda's face until they found the blonde's blue ones.

"Yeah" she muttered while they shared the most intense gaze.

"But I didn't" a smile was now forming on Olivia's face.

"Why?" now the blonde had found her voice.

"Maybe you haven't failed" Olivia's voice was a whisper "Maybe I want this too. Maybe I like you."

"Maybe?" Amanda couldn't believe anything she was hearing.

"We'll have time to figure that out along the way"

Amanda smiled. A full-blown smile that made Olivia's heart go faster. Boy, it was going to be hard to get out of this one.

* * *

 **Please review and let me know what you think of this story so far.**


End file.
